Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
