I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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