He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
