Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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