Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize