I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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