i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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