Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
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