he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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