O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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