Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
