actually, I'm a sock model
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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