you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
