She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
