Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
