I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
