good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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