5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We need to rekindle our bromance
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize