i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
