do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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