It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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