i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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