Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
