did you get engaged???
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will be naked everywhere
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have feelings that need drinking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
