i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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