is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
