I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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