We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
