Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
