so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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