you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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