The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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