I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
