nut hugger
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Say something about gay babies.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
