I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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