i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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