next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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