I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
