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Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize