You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize