apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
