someone owes me an orgasm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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