I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
