I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
