If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
