Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
