the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
