Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize