it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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