Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize