she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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