I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
someone owes me an orgasm
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
