singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
