You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
