Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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