guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
