forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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