Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
