She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize