I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
