i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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